After almost two weeks spent cooped up in his summer villa outside Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo finally emerged with puffy eyes and unkempt hair to talk to reporters at a Real Madrid press conference. "I don't know how to explain our failure," he told the media. "[The Portuguese National Team] sang beautifully. We lined up in a straight line, just like the judges wanted. Our hair was puh...puh...perfect," Ronaldo sobbed. The crooner/winger admitted that he did not put much effort into the friendly soccer matches the competing singers played after the game, claiming that he was already focused on the next sing-off of national anthems. He did vow to come back with a stronger voice than ever at the Team American Idol: Europe competition in two years time.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Cristiano Ronaldo Ready to Put "Team American Idol: International" Failure Behind Him
MADRID- The Portuguese superstar is nearly ready to start getting over his heartbreak in South Africa.
After almost two weeks spent cooped up in his summer villa outside Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo finally emerged with puffy eyes and unkempt hair to talk to reporters at a Real Madrid press conference. "I don't know how to explain our failure," he told the media. "[The Portuguese National Team] sang beautifully. We lined up in a straight line, just like the judges wanted. Our hair was puh...puh...perfect," Ronaldo sobbed. The crooner/winger admitted that he did not put much effort into the friendly soccer matches the competing singers played after the game, claiming that he was already focused on the next sing-off of national anthems. He did vow to come back with a stronger voice than ever at the Team American Idol: Europe competition in two years time.
After almost two weeks spent cooped up in his summer villa outside Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo finally emerged with puffy eyes and unkempt hair to talk to reporters at a Real Madrid press conference. "I don't know how to explain our failure," he told the media. "[The Portuguese National Team] sang beautifully. We lined up in a straight line, just like the judges wanted. Our hair was puh...puh...perfect," Ronaldo sobbed. The crooner/winger admitted that he did not put much effort into the friendly soccer matches the competing singers played after the game, claiming that he was already focused on the next sing-off of national anthems. He did vow to come back with a stronger voice than ever at the Team American Idol: Europe competition in two years time.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Our Favorite World Cup Moments
For this post we all decided we would collaborate on a question and see what our answers were. The World Cup having just ended was the obvious topic to focus on. So our prompt was to think of our favorite World Cup moments. This is what we said:
Pablo:
Pablo:
Four agonizingly long years had passed since Fabio Grosso tucked his penalty kick away to hand Italy its fourth World Cup title in a shootout over France. South Africa 2010 was an eternity away.
The Way I See It
Friday, July 16, 2010
Kevin Durant: Not Your Average Superstar
It was the 2006-2007 season and my beloved Celtics were in the midst of one of their worst seasons ever. They ended the season with an abysmal record of 24-58, including a record breaking 18-game losing streak. The Celtics had a good shot of getting one of the top 2 picks in the 2007 NBA draft. So I spent most of that season watching college basketball looking to find out more about the top 2 prospects. One of these prospects was a frail old man, who was posing as a 7 foot college freshman at Ohio State, and the other was this skinny kid from Texas who could definitely play some basketball. As it turned out, the Celtics ended up with the 5th overall pick which they traded for an NBA Championship instead of drafting Yi Jianlian.
Death of King George Steinbrenner III Embroils Yankee Empire Into Civil War
Bronx, New York
Just hours after the Tuesday morning death of King George Steinbrenner III, the sovereign overlord of the Yankee Empire, with lands extending from the neighborhoods of the Bronx, to the barrios of Latin America, to the crowded streets of Tokyo, Japan, his two sons Prince Hank Steinbrenner, and Prince Hal Steinbrenner, both General Managing partners within the organization, began a war for sole possession of the throne.
Just hours after the Tuesday morning death of King George Steinbrenner III, the sovereign overlord of the Yankee Empire, with lands extending from the neighborhoods of the Bronx, to the barrios of Latin America, to the crowded streets of Tokyo, Japan, his two sons Prince Hank Steinbrenner, and Prince Hal Steinbrenner, both General Managing partners within the organization, began a war for sole possession of the throne.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
World Cup All-Hair Team
My behavior since July 11, 2010 has been somewhat controversial at Just Kickin' It! Headquarters (my parents' house).
"Mom, Dad!", I say. "What's the big deal!?"
"You have skipped work for four straight days and have been doing nought but drinking, singing, and dancing in the streets!", They say.
"But Spain won the World Cup!!! All the Spaniards are doing it!!!"
"Maybe they are, but you're not in Spain."
Do they really think that is gonna stop me?
¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!
The Just Kickin' It! 2010 All-Hair World Cup Team:
Goalkeeper- Guillermo Ochoa (Mexico)
Ochoa is also the recipient of the Just Kickin' It! Worst Commercials-Appeared-in-to-Minutes-of-Soccer-Played-in-the-World-Cup-Award (2,010:0).
Right Back- Bacary Sagna (France)
Sagna's choice of hairstyle was a prize for winning a bet with his father that, as a teenager playing for Auxerre's youth team, he would score against the senior side. You tell him, Bac.
Cent
er Back- Rigobert Song (Cameroon)
He played in the 1994 World Cup. He reminds me of Mufasa. Team Captain.
Center Back- Marcus Tulio Tanaka (Japan)
The São Paolo-born defender (with awesome hair) brought Brazilian flair and awesome hair to a surprising Japanese team.
Left Back- Fabio Coentrao (Portugal)
Actually pretty good at soccer considering how much effort he has put into starting a Portuguese glam metal band. Drummer Cristiano Ronaldo's plans to join have been way laid by an unexpected human baby he made.
Left Midfield- Hassan Yebda (Algeria)
Keep laughing at him. As 3D technology continues to advance, that ball will one day smack you in the face.
Center Midfield- Marek Hamsik (Slovakia)
The Exotic Bird, as he is called by the Slovak fans, poses for the team photo. He knows.
Center Midfield- Cesc Fabregas (Spain)
Dreamy as ever.
Right Midfield- Gervinho (Cote d'Ivoire)
Remember that ESPN commercial with U2 music from the 2006 World Cup where Drogba and the Cote d'Ivoire national team cause a ceasefire in the country's civil war? He's from there. And he has awesome hair.
Striker- Walter Martinez (Honduras)
Walter Martinez is the official 2010 FIFA World Cup player of your bag of Skittles.
Striker- Djibril Cisse (France)
The British Parliament loves when representatives of the nobility feature in the Just Kickin' It! World Cup All-Hair Team. The Lord of the Manor of Frodsham is player-coach. Do yourself a favor and google more pictures of this badass.
Thank you South Africa for an amazing month (I looked for you on the map every time they showed it, Lesotho). Countdown to Brazil 2014 starts very soon, but not quite yet!
A very special guest will be joining the blog soon, keep your eyes here you won't want to miss it!
Hambahni Kahle, amigos.
¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!
"Mom, Dad!", I say. "What's the big deal!?"
"You have skipped work for four straight days and have been doing nought but drinking, singing, and dancing in the streets!", They say.
"But Spain won the World Cup!!! All the Spaniards are doing it!!!"
"Maybe they are, but you're not in Spain."
Do they really think that is gonna stop me?
¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!
The Just Kickin' It! 2010 All-Hair World Cup Team:
Goalkeeper- Guillermo Ochoa (Mexico)
Right Back- Bacary Sagna (France)
Sagna's choice of hairstyle was a prize for winning a bet with his father that, as a teenager playing for Auxerre's youth team, he would score against the senior side. You tell him, Bac.
Cent
er Back- Rigobert Song (Cameroon)He played in the 1994 World Cup. He reminds me of Mufasa. Team Captain.
Center Back- Marcus Tulio Tanaka (Japan)
The São Paolo-born defender (with awesome hair) brought Brazilian flair and awesome hair to a surprising Japanese team.
Left Back- Fabio Coentrao (Portugal)
Actually pretty good at soccer considering how much effort he has put into starting a Portuguese glam metal band. Drummer Cristiano Ronaldo's plans to join have been way laid by an unexpected human baby he made.
Left Midfield- Hassan Yebda (Algeria)
Keep laughing at him. As 3D technology continues to advance, that ball will one day smack you in the face.
Center Midfield- Marek Hamsik (Slovakia)
The Exotic Bird, as he is called by the Slovak fans, poses for the team photo. He knows.
Center Midfield- Cesc Fabregas (Spain)
Dreamy as ever.
Right Midfield- Gervinho (Cote d'Ivoire)
Remember that ESPN commercial with U2 music from the 2006 World Cup where Drogba and the Cote d'Ivoire national team cause a ceasefire in the country's civil war? He's from there. And he has awesome hair.
Striker- Walter Martinez (Honduras)
Walter Martinez is the official 2010 FIFA World Cup player of your bag of Skittles.
Striker- Djibril Cisse (France)
The British Parliament loves when representatives of the nobility feature in the Just Kickin' It! World Cup All-Hair Team. The Lord of the Manor of Frodsham is player-coach. Do yourself a favor and google more pictures of this badass.
Thank you South Africa for an amazing month (I looked for you on the map every time they showed it, Lesotho). Countdown to Brazil 2014 starts very soon, but not quite yet!
A very special guest will be joining the blog soon, keep your eyes here you won't want to miss it!
Hambahni Kahle, amigos.
¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!
Fine, I wish Cesc still rocked this.
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Last Few Months
Finally a new collective bargaining agreement has been signed and our work stoppage has ended. It feels like 1994 all over again and I just hope us writers here at the blog don't need to take steroids to get our fans back. I can finally get back to doing what I do best: making observations about professional athletics that are entertaining only to me.
These last few months have seen a lot happen in our world: the Celtics went from old, to young, to old again in the span of 50 days; a popular soccer tournament began and is currently underway; something happened in hockey; baseball began and only has three good teams, all of whom are in the AL East; the Gulf of Mexico was paved over; we re-entered the Cold War with Russia; and some dude from some basketball team decided to play for some other basketball team. That is a lot to happen in a few months, and that is a lot to talk about. I am lazy so I will only mention a few while illuminating those topics with astute perspective and knowledge. As we all know, my point of view is always the right one.
Baseball: The season is at the All Star Break, and as expected, the good teams are where they should be and the bad teams are occupying their roles as doormats. The Yankees will be handed the AL East once again after their trade with the Mariners for the AL's best pitcher, Cliff Lee, is finalized. The Rays attempt to get their acts together after their stumble through June that saw a nice dugout scuffle between B.J. Upton and Evan Longoria while the Red Sox continue to be a strong argument for universal health care. One of these teams will roll through the playoffs and onto the Series, and unfortunately, it look like it will be the Bankees. We hold out hope for the Sox, but they should probably change their name from the Red Sox to the Red Cross.
Basketball: The Boston Celtics were one of the most enigmatic teams of the 2009-2010 season. They managed to change from a team of washed up, careless veterans to a squad of giant killers who came to within 6 minutes of having defeated Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Dwight Howard, and Kobe Bryant in a single playoffs. It would have been one of the storied franchise's biggest accomplishments but unfortunately injuries and age undid them at the worst time. Going into the Summer of Lebron, the Celtics look for one last shot at a title while the Lakers remain the favorite. As the free agency orgy comes to its messy climax, the Bulls look like the upcomers, and the Hawks look to grow and mature. Both teams have a long way to go but can make a run at the Eastern Conference title if they can get their heads on straight. You heard it hear first (or maybe read, not sure) the Heat will collapse and not make it past the second round. Commence drama in South Beach.
Lebron James: Lebron James does what is best for Lebron James to make Lebron James the Lebron Jamesiest Lebron James to ever Lebron James a Lebron James. He is very humble. Also, no one is allowed to play as the Heat in any NBA videogame now that a videogame version of them has been created in real life. Kind of ridiculous.
Football: The Jets are overrated. Mark Sanchez will have a sophomore slump, and Tomlinson is no upgrade over Thomas Jones. I hate the Jets, Colts, Dolphins, and Giants. Patriots in 2010-2011! Wooo!
Fútbol:BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
So that is the past few months in a nutshell. Nothing else happened that is important. I'd like to welcome myself back to the blogosphere, and to send a shout out to Pablo and Bonetti, two hard working contributors to the Most Important Blog Ever Read. Cheers.
Oh and America is still number one, despite their decision to not beat Ghana in the World Cup.
These last few months have seen a lot happen in our world: the Celtics went from old, to young, to old again in the span of 50 days; a popular soccer tournament began and is currently underway; something happened in hockey; baseball began and only has three good teams, all of whom are in the AL East; the Gulf of Mexico was paved over; we re-entered the Cold War with Russia; and some dude from some basketball team decided to play for some other basketball team. That is a lot to happen in a few months, and that is a lot to talk about. I am lazy so I will only mention a few while illuminating those topics with astute perspective and knowledge. As we all know, my point of view is always the right one.
Baseball: The season is at the All Star Break, and as expected, the good teams are where they should be and the bad teams are occupying their roles as doormats. The Yankees will be handed the AL East once again after their trade with the Mariners for the AL's best pitcher, Cliff Lee, is finalized. The Rays attempt to get their acts together after their stumble through June that saw a nice dugout scuffle between B.J. Upton and Evan Longoria while the Red Sox continue to be a strong argument for universal health care. One of these teams will roll through the playoffs and onto the Series, and unfortunately, it look like it will be the Bankees. We hold out hope for the Sox, but they should probably change their name from the Red Sox to the Red Cross.
Basketball: The Boston Celtics were one of the most enigmatic teams of the 2009-2010 season. They managed to change from a team of washed up, careless veterans to a squad of giant killers who came to within 6 minutes of having defeated Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Dwight Howard, and Kobe Bryant in a single playoffs. It would have been one of the storied franchise's biggest accomplishments but unfortunately injuries and age undid them at the worst time. Going into the Summer of Lebron, the Celtics look for one last shot at a title while the Lakers remain the favorite. As the free agency orgy comes to its messy climax, the Bulls look like the upcomers, and the Hawks look to grow and mature. Both teams have a long way to go but can make a run at the Eastern Conference title if they can get their heads on straight. You heard it hear first (or maybe read, not sure) the Heat will collapse and not make it past the second round. Commence drama in South Beach.
Lebron James: Lebron James does what is best for Lebron James to make Lebron James the Lebron Jamesiest Lebron James to ever Lebron James a Lebron James. He is very humble. Also, no one is allowed to play as the Heat in any NBA videogame now that a videogame version of them has been created in real life. Kind of ridiculous.
Football: The Jets are overrated. Mark Sanchez will have a sophomore slump, and Tomlinson is no upgrade over Thomas Jones. I hate the Jets, Colts, Dolphins, and Giants. Patriots in 2010-2011! Wooo!
Fútbol:BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
A South African Bee Hive.
So that is the past few months in a nutshell. Nothing else happened that is important. I'd like to welcome myself back to the blogosphere, and to send a shout out to Pablo and Bonetti, two hard working contributors to the Most Important Blog Ever Read. Cheers.
Oh and America is still number one, despite their decision to not beat Ghana in the World Cup.
These Colors don't run, they just sometimes lose in extra time to a third world nation.
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