Sanibonani, welcome to Just Kickin’ It! I’m Pablo, and I am excited to join Blog To Be Named Later’s award-winning sportswriting team in the capacity of (one) soccer analyst. In the foreseeable future I will be writing mostly about next year’s World Cup, but also club soccer, other sports, and anything else I want to talk about. Today, we’re talking about the World Cup. Are you ready to Kick It?!
At the time of writing, there are only 190 days until the 2010 FIFA World Cup begins in Johannesburg, South Africa. Why yes, I do have a countdown on my phone’s wallpaper so that I see it about fifty times a day, thank you for asking. Also, as the Cup nears, beware of many future headlines about it “kicking off” and “the ball getting rolling.” I was going to try to make a superpun using both but in the end decided against it. Anyhow, the time to begin seriously considering the United States’ chances is now. After two years of qualifying encompassing hundreds of games, thousands of goals, and one Thierry Henry handball, the final field of thirty-two teams competing for glory has been set. The next important stage is the draw, which is held Friday.
Here’s how the draw works: the thirty-two teams are divided into four “Pots”. Each of the eight groups of four in the World Cup will contain one team from each Pot. The Pots are structured in such a way as to ensure that two teams from the same qualifying region cannot be drawn together in the group stage. The U.S., for example, will have to wait until the round of sixteen or later if it wants to beat down on Mexico again, like in 2002. European nations are the exception to this rule, since they have the most representatives in South Africa. No more than two European nations can be drawn into the same group. Without further ado, here are the Pots for the draw:
Pot 1- South Africa, Brazil, Spain, Netherlands, Argentina, England, Italy, Germany
Pot 2- Japan, South Korea, North Korea, Australia, New Zealand, U.S.A., Mexico, Honduras
Pot 3- Cote d’ Ivoire, Ghana, Cameroon, Nigeria, Algeria, Chile, Paraguay, Uruguay
Pot 4- France, Portugal, Greece, Denmark, Switzerland, Slovenia, Slovakia, Serbia
Pot 1 has the seeded teams, the powerhouses of world football and the hosts South Africa. A recent controversy has been FIFA’s decision to base the seeded teams on October’s FIFA World Rankings, and not the current ones. Many feel this is in order to punish France for their controversial qualification at Ireland’s expense. FIFA have maintained that it was a purely sporting decision, and point out that the rankings would have changed due to November’s playoff matches. Competitive matches carry more weight than friendlies in the ranking system. So France and Portugal, for instance, would have gotten more points for their playoff victories than other countries like England, but only because England played well enough to qualify directly, without need for a playoff.
My gripe with the whole process is that the criteria of using October’s rankings was announced only days ago. It makes sense, but in the context of the whole World Cup, it looks as though FIFA are haphazardly making up rules as they go, which is absolutely not how a tournament of this magnitude should be run. It is reminiscent of the decision to seed the European playoffs, but only after it became evident that FIFA favorites and cash-flow-facilitating countries like France and Portugal could miss out on the fun. You can bet your ass that if FIFA had any way to ensure Cristiano Ronaldo’s pretty face would be plastered all over TV screens next summer, they would take full advantage. Still, FIFA and President Sepp Blatter’s stupidity is not new. After all, Blatter is the man who once suggested that women players dress in skimpier outfits to attract fans and raise the profile of their game. Seriously? You are one of the most powerful men in football, supposed to protect the game, not a fratboy thinking of ways to chillify the world.
FIFA and Blatter’s inadequacies aside, the U.S. has to start planning for June. Looking at the Pots, you have to say that we would love to be drawn with South Africa. As hosts they will undoubtedly get a massive boost from home support and home conditions, but they still look the weakest seeded team by a mile. Drawing South Africa will be a major boost for any of the nonseeded teams, but keep in mind that no African team can.
Pot 3 is tough. Ghana, Cote d’ Ivoire, and Cameroon all boast top players who have been competing at the highest level in Europe for years, and Algeria showed excellent mental toughness to qualify after one of the closest, craziest finishes to a qualifying group ever, their bus getting stoned, and a one-match playoff with hated rivals Egypt. Nigeria, one of Africa’s most illustrious teams in terms of history, has good players but has in recent times fallen victim to a severe lack of organization affecting everyone from the coach up through their Football Association President. I pick Nigeria as the weakest African team in Pot 3. Remember that this World Cup is the first ever in Africa, and teams playing in their own continents enjoy a huge historical advantage. That will be a major storyline of this tournament, and I think that playing any African team will be extremely difficult, and I would also not be in the least bit surprised if an African team goes very deep into this tournament. But that’s another blog entry.
Of the three South American nations, Chile and Paraguay had very impressive qualifying campaigns in one of the toughest regions to get through. Uruguay survived a playoff with Costa Rica, and boasts several top players in Europe. Chile may suffer from a lack of experience in major tournaments, despite their excellent finish in qualifying. I would probably prefer to see them than either of the ‘Guays. Again though, there are no pushovers in this Pot, and the U.S. will definitely be seeing one of them.
Moving onto Pot 4, France and Portugal jump out as names to avoid. Denmark, Slovakia, and Slovenia won tough groups to qualify and have very talented players. They should be high on confidence come June. Slovenia upset Russia in a playoff, but it remains to be seen if they can maintain that level of performance. Greece likewise qualified via playoff, but they look one dimensional, and that one dimension is defense. Switzerland topped an easy qualifying group but still look weak. I want one of the latter three.
So, my ideal draw for the U.S. would be South Africa, Chile, and one of Slovenia, Greece, and Switzerland. If we are not in the hosts’ group, as we most likely will not be, Nigeria wouldn’t be too bad instead of Chile. I shudder to think of Brazil, Ghana, and France. Whoever we get, roll on Friday, let’s find out our opponents, and start preparing for them. I’ll be back next week to break down the U.S. group. Extra credit points for finding out what sanibonani means. Hambani kahle, amigos
Sticking with the Red Sox, (because I like them) they made some good, and funny, acquisitions in the past few days. The first of which is the signing of RP Ramon Ramirez, only reason this is funny is because the Sox already have a RP Ramon Ramirez. According to GM Theo Epstein the new RamRam is going as “The Deuce”, a quality nickname no doubt. I like the Deuce, either that or “Number 2”(in the voice of Dr. Evil) would work as well, so long as people don’t call him poop. The Sox also acquired RHP Boof Bonser. Bonser, who has spent the last four years on the Twins, was up on the shelf for all of last year while recovering from surgery to repair a slightly torn labrum and rotator cuff in his right shoulder. More importantly, throughout his entire career Boof Bonser has been a perennial star for The Fightin’ Funny Names*. The Sox got Bonser in a trade with Twins for a 
