Shaquille O’Neal: NBA Legend, Entertainer, Newest Boston Celtic

A press conference was held Tuesday, making it official that Shaquille “Shaq, Shaq Fu, The Big Twitterer , Manny Shaq-iaou, The Big Deporter, Wilt Chamberneazy, The Big eQuotatious, The Big Maravich, M.D.E (Most Dominant Ever), The Big Baryshnikov, The Big Agave, The Big Galactus, The Real Deal, Witness Protection, Diesel, Shaq Daddy, The Big Felon, The Big Field General, Shaqovic, The Big IPO, Shaq-tus, L.C.L .(Last Center Left), Dr. Shaq, Osama Bin Shaq, The Big Banana, The Big Aristotle” O’Neal has signed with the Boston Celtics.  This news could not have made me happier. 

A-Rod's 444 career home runs.

The writers at the most important sports blog ever written would like to congratulate Alex Rodriguez on 444 career home runs. This is a truly remarkable feet, leaving him 56 away from the famous 500 milestone and 156 from 600. He might some day reach the hallowed mark of 600, but with only 4 members existing in the club, Aaron, Mays, Ruth, and Griffey Jr, history is not on his side.

After 444 home runs A-Rod has a stiff neck.

Brett Favre Retires For The… *Yawn*… Fourth Time

The hall of fame career of Brett Favre may have finally come to an end today as sources within the Vikings have reported his ankle was not healing the way he hoped and has to call it quits. Although the report has yet to be confirmed by coach Brad Childress or even Favre himself, we can take the chance to review his heralded career and compare him to other current and past greats.

Favre’s Stats (1991-2009 Seasons)

Favre throws picks in his Wranglers.

 Rating: 86.4

Completion Percentage: 62.0

Yards: 69,329

Touchdowns: 497

Interceptions:317

Championships: 1

MVPs: 3

Teams Held Hostage Because of Retirements: 3

Favre’s statistics are impressive, if not great, holding all time records in yards, passing touchdowns, pass attempts, pass completions, interceptions and consecutive games started. He is a sure fire hall of famer who is in the discussion of greatest quarterback of all time. All this being said, I still believe he was overrated, and in the 2000s, I would have taken Tom Brady and Peyton Manning over him to play on my team.

Fracas in Fenway

Things got a little heated last night at Fenway Park between the Sox and the Tribe, most notably Beckett and Shelley Duncan for some reason. Nothing like a good bench clearer, but notice a fiery JD Drew finally showing up 40 seconds in, way after everyone else, including an injured Dustin Pedroia.

Bengals Sign Top Free Agent, Create SuperTeam

Watch the Ochocinco and T.O. Show, Sundays this Fall on CBS

CINCINNATI, OH – The entire landscape of professional sports, as we knew it, changed dramatically on July 27, 2010 when WR Terrell Owens decided to take his talents to the banks of the Ohio River and sign with the Cincinnati Bengals. The highly touted and sought after free agent decided to join fellow VH1 Reality TV Celebrity/NFL wide receiver Chad Ochocinco  and WR Antonio Bryant, making the Bengals some sort of super team, the likes of which have never been seen in any sport. Never before have superstar athletes banded together on one team to form a roster that would more likely appear in a video game than on a football field.

Man Unsure If Athlete Got New Contract Or Prison Sentence

After hearing the end of a sports newsflash on the radio, Tacoma resident and casual basketball fan Alan Wood had no idea whether NBA shooting guard Gilbert Arenas had signed a lucrative, multi-million dollar deal with one of the league's thirty franchises, or if he had instead been condemned to a lengthy stay in jail. Wood turned on the radio just in time to hear the broadcaster say "...sources report that Arenas will be looking at four or five years, although both sides say negotiations are not yet complete." Arenas, nicknamed Agent Zero, has averaged 22.7 points and 2.3 guns in his locker per game in his career. "Huh", said Wood.

Cristiano Ronaldo Ready to Put "Team American Idol: International" Failure Behind Him

MADRID- The Portuguese superstar is nearly ready to start getting over his heartbreak in South Africa. After almost two weeks spent cooped up in his summer villa outside Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo finally emerged with puffy eyes and unkempt hair to talk to reporters at a Real Madrid press conference. "I don't know how to explain our failure," he told the media. "[The Portuguese National Team] sang beautifully. We lined up in a straight line, just like the judges wanted. Our hair was puh...puh...perfect," Ronaldo sobbed. The crooner/winger admitted that he did not put much effort into the friendly soccer matches the competing singers played after the game, claiming that he was already focused on the next sing-off of national anthems. He did vow to come back with a stronger voice than ever at the Team American Idol: Europe competition in two years time.