Group Stage Review, SPOILER ALERT!!! Knockout Stage Preview

Welcome back, loyal readers, I hope you are all enjoying the World Cup as much as I am. The group stage is now behind us, and the real fun begins! The main thing that jumps out at me so far from the group stage is the success that non-European teams have enjoyed. All five South American teams, two of three CONCACAF teams, two of five Asia/Oceania teams, and one African team have advanced to make up ten of the sixteen remaining teams. This provides a stark contrast to the last sixteen of tournaments past. Consider that since the Cup was expanded to a thirty-two-team format in 1998, Europe has provided twenty-nine of forty-eight teams in the knockout stages: ten in 1998, nine in 2002, and ten in 2006. The continent's dominance of the latter stages has been undeniable over that time period, leading many to conclude that the overwhelming preeminence of the European club game and the money that it has generated has widened the gap between the rich (European) and poor (everyone else) nations. It has also been argued that due to the vast financial power of the Champions'League, EPL, La Liga, and Serie A, the World Cup and international soccer has become lessened in importance, becoming a burden for managers and players who make their money in club competition.

The fact that the 2010 edition has been such a global tournament thus far is extremely refreshing for me, and I think the rest of the world would tend to agree. Nowhere else can one find the excitement of Japan vs. Cameroon in a truly competitive setting, a clash of Asian and African flavors. That is why the tournament is so magnificent. It brings together lovers of joga bonita from all corners of the Earth, and the opportunity to witness their different approaches, tactics, skill levels, mentalities, and cultures all while sharing the same core values of soccer will always be breathtaking for me. It is pride, glory, and competition at their finest. The World Cup always has been and always will be the pinnacle of soccer achievement, the grandest stage in the sport. The hunger, commitment, and skill put on display by the rest of the world has shown that this is the most important competition to them as well, and if UEFA wants to focus on its club soccer, everyone else will be happy to send them home early. The South American nations have been particularly impressive and the continent can rightly be applauded for 100% of its participants surviving the group stage.

The United States had a somewhat topsy-turvy experience in Group C, but in the end emerged as deserved winners. The first match was a nervy 1-1 draw with England. Greensides all around, boys. The second match was an incredible, gutsy comeback from two down at halftime against Slovenia to tie, which should have been a victory which would have gone down in World Cup lore as a classic but for some truly bogus refereeing. Knowing that they needed a win in their final match, against Algeria, the U.S. dominated and should have scored numerous times but were thwarted by the post, more bogus refereeing, the goalkeeper, and poor finishing. Meanwhile, England scored in the first half of their match against Slovenia. Had the results remained that way, 0-0 in our game and 1-0 England in the other, we would have been cruelly eliminated. We never gave up though, and in the ninety-first minute, the ninety-first, Donovan got a boot on Dempsey's rebound after a quick counter attack and put a bulge in the old onion bag. What a bulge it was! Pandemonium ensued in my brain and many a brain across this nation, and when the final whistle blew the U.S. emerged as group winners by virtue of goal difference over England. The poor decisions by officials, the bad luck, none of it mattered in the end and we got what we deserved over the course of three games- group winners and a berth in the Round of 16.

Before we go on, a few more points about the group stage.

-France, no matter what happens in the rest of the tournament, you are the undeniable loser. Disgraceful. Talk about giving yourselves Les Blues.

-Italy, you deserve to not go through, that's what you get for your negativity against teams that you should be beating handily.

-Ball boys, stop throwing extra balls on the field.

-TV, stop showing slow-motion, ultra close-up images of spit flying out of the goalie's mouth while the other team is breaking down the wing and having a shot at goal.

-Everybody except Japan, practice free kicks.



Now, onto my predictions for the knockout stage.

NOTE: THESE PREDICTIONS ARE NOT REALLY PREDICTIONS THEY ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING TRUTH LIKE PAUL PIERCE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF THE TOURNAMENT STOP READING IMMEDIATELY

I have discovered a Book that contains the Secrets of the 2010 Fifa World Cup results. It has been Written. The Book's Writers are unknown. They were extremely clever, however, and buried their Message in an almost indecipherable Code. I have managed to crack it after much meticulous research. What the Authors did was to first write the Message, which I have discovered to be this:

"Scott K will run through the streets naked after the United States soccer squad defeats Ghana, Uruguay, Brazil, and Spain to claim the trophy. Also, the aforementioned will wash by hand every United States citizen's pink elephant as a celebratory ritual. Pusillanimous".

Cryptic, isn't it? As if that strangely worded Message was not enough, the Writers then chopped up its words and jumbled them in a random, chaotic order. Lastly, they filled in the gaps between these words and even the punctuation with pages upon pages of nonsensical jargon. Let me tell you, figuring it all out was a sonofabitch, but so worth it. As a way of thanks for their continued support, I want to give the blog's dedicated followers the opportunity to get their hands on a genuine copy of the Code for themselves. Blog To Be Named Later is proud to announce exclusively that it can be found here:

http://www.amazon.com/Merriam-Websters-Collegiate-Dictionary-Laminated-Cover/dp/0877798079/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277526449&sr=1-1

Hambani Kahle, amigos.

A Thought for Lesotho

Yes, yes, I know we are all very excited for the World Cup to start in six days. However, being the leading journalist that I am, I felt it was my responsibility to take a different view of the buildup to the tournament, and I want to take a brief moment to talk about poor Lesotho.

Lesotho, since you probably don't know, is a small country located not only in Southern Africa but inside South Africa. The entire country is surrounded by the hosts of this year's World Cup. I can think of few crueler fates than to be literally surrounded by Cup festivities and the world's attention, yet still shut out from participation. Rearrange Lesotho and what do you get? The Solo.

Credit to South Africa for getting ready for the World Cup on time and in style, but they missed an opportunity here to become the coolest country ever by inviting Lesotho to be joint hosts. South Africa/Lesotho 2010 FIFA World Cup. Has a nice ring to it. So while you grab your vuvuzela and cheer on the Bafana Bafana on Friday, spare a thought for this soccer-loving Lesothan baby.




And his cat.



World Cup All-Hair Team is next. Hambani Kahle, amigos.