This is a new experiment at the blog, I am going to write a live diary of the game. We'll see how it goes.
1:05 - Thanks CBS for your excellent coverage. Nothing like watching commercials instead of the opening kickoff.
1:09 - Patriots defense on their heels already, giving up some big runs, especially to Marshawn Lynch. Not the best start for them. Patriots can't make the Bills look like the Saints.
1:12 - McCourty with the breakup, the rookie has been the best defensiveback so far on the Patriots this season. A fieldgoal is forced, I would have preferred to see a better effort to start off this game from the defense.
1:18 - Congratulations to #39 Danny Woodhead for making the active squad and getting some playing time. We all have to be Woodhead fans after watching him in Hard Knocks.
1:19 - Aaron Hernandez end around. this kid is a match up nightmare. A WR/TE is a hard player to find. He is going to always get either a linebacker or the 4th or 5th best CB covering him, and it'll be in his favor.
1:23: Moss.
1:36: Interesting to see Edelman line up at the RB position in the shotgun. Perhaps he will be used in the pass catching role in an attempt to replace Kevin Faulk.
1:45 - Mayo with the sack. He is flying around to the ball today. Would be good to see him blitz more.
1:55 - Brandon Tate not eliciting confidence from Brady with the bad fumble. Let's see how the defense reacts.
2:01 - Bills take the lead off of the turnover. New England is going to have a tough time covering the 14.5 point spread to say the least.
2:08 - Danny Woodhead with his first career NFL touchdown. Great running drive for the Patriots in response to the Bills' score.
2:18 - Patriots defense still on their heels and getting pushed around. Fitzpatrick definitely provides a spark Trent Edwards could not.
2:25 - Brady seems more focused on spreading the ball around today. Good throws to Hernandez, Welker, and Tate so far. Great 24 second drive to score 3 points and get Gostkowski off the schneid after 3 consecutive misses.
2:44 - Moss. Great start to the second half with a good quick touchdown to Moss. Strong throw from Brady, the kind of thing we came to know and love from 2007.
2:48 - Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Kick coverage has to make a stop on that play. Just as momentum is in New England's favor, a Buffalo return for a 95 yard score to steal momentum back.
3:01 - Clutch open field tackle by Pat Chung to prevent the first down and force an eventual 51 yard FG miss by Ryan Lindell. Patriots hang on to the lead.
3:08 - One thing about BenJarvus Green-Ellis: though he may not have the straight line speed of the traded Laurence Maroney, when he is hit he always falls forward.
3:11 - Gronked. That man is made for the red zone. Defense needs to make some stops.
3:19 - Rookie LB Cunningham forced the bad throw by Fitzpatrick which resulted in an important interception by Chung. Good to see someone who Belichick actually drafted to rush the passer succeed in doing so.
3:25 - SeaBass, Sebastien Vollmer, was taken out and replaced at RT. Hopefully the future starting left tackle comes back soon, the offensive line has done very well today.
3:30 - Patriots are in total control right now. Evidenced by Brady's mental wherewithal to wait until the play clock was down to 1 second before calling a timeout. Another score puts this out of reach.
3:41 - Devin McCourty is proving to be quite a solid open field tackler. Belichick likes his corners to be competent tacklers.
3:43 - The problem with the young defense: they blew the chance to potentially seal the game on 3rd and 6, and eventually yield the touchdown. A championship quality defense makes the stop there to crush the opponent and end it right there and then.
3:45 - Cool hair, Steve Johnson. Celebration was kind of funny too.
3:49 - Offense shooting themselves in the feet; 1 play resulting in 2 penalties and 1 sack. All it takes is a first down to win this thing.
3:52 - Let's see if the defense can play some ball and win this thing.
3:53 - Brandon Merriweather with the play of the game, huge interception to squelch the comeback chance.
4:03 - Another classic case of Law Firm falling forward, getting the first down, and winning the game.
4:05 - Patriots rebound from the bad Jets loss with a high scoring win. Good to see Moss involved, a strong rushing attack of over 200 yards, and Brady made some great decisions. Defense needs to tighten up, they let up 30 on the NFL's worst offense. When they face teams like Indy, Baltimore or even the Jets again, the chances of them dropping 38 on them will be slim. The young guys need to learn up quick.
Well that's what I got for my running diary of the game. It was fun to write down observations of the game. Maybe I'll do it again next week.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
RAAAAANND University
So there has been much a hullabaloo about this Randy Moss complaining about his contract thing this week, and I decided to deliver my most important perspective you will ever read on this subject to lay it to rest. No one can doubt that Randy has a certain lack of tact that Mr. Bill Belichick might prefer in his football players, the way, say Tom Brady has, but when you cut through the horrible timing of the complaints, you realize maybe he should get what he wants.
When the Patriots signed Tom Brady to his extension just before the season, they secured him for what should be the rest of his prime. By the time the contract is finished he will be 37 years old, and it just so happens to be the same rumored time Belichick's deal expires as well. The two contracts seem synchronized for a four year shot at dominance. Randy Moss is the same age as Brady. I see no reason in not appeasing him and having on board for the ride. A receiver as talented and as unique as he is a once in a generation type player; Moss will still be able to help the team, even at 34, 35, 36 years old.
Moss wants to be here. This is the first team he has been on that has a competent coach and quarterback, who can consistently win and make him happy. Randy even took a pay cut to stay on the team. He could have left the Patriots of the Eagles for more money but he chose to stay in New England at end of 2007. He seems to be an incredibly insecure person. When he was up on the podium he reminded me of a boy trying to tell a girl he liked her, but in his nervousness and in the process of over thinking, he just blurted out nonsense and dug himself into a hole when he finally got a chance to speak . By the end of the confernce you could see the sweat beading up on his forehead. It sounds ludicrous but Randy just wants to be wanted.
As for the Patriots, they should pull out the stops and go after Lombardi number four. The fourth trophy would separate them from the Cowboys of the 90s, the Giants and Redskins of the 80s, and put them into all time status with the 49ers and Steelers. From a historic standpoint they are just on the cusp of G.O.A.T. and are outside looking in.
They have acquired 24 players in the last 2 drafts and are awash with young talent. I don't know how many more drafts you can have with it just being 3 second rounders, 3 third rounders and 5 6th rounders and hope some value is there. I hope they decide to go after the few solid top tier players that can have an immediate impact.
They have a set deadline, four years, and in that time the Patriots should go after their championships before teams like the Jets, Ravens, Colts overtake them. Give Randy his money. He is well liked on his team, even if he lacks a sensitivity to the situation he is in. A happy Moss will play many times better than a disgruntled one.
When the Patriots signed Tom Brady to his extension just before the season, they secured him for what should be the rest of his prime. By the time the contract is finished he will be 37 years old, and it just so happens to be the same rumored time Belichick's deal expires as well. The two contracts seem synchronized for a four year shot at dominance. Randy Moss is the same age as Brady. I see no reason in not appeasing him and having on board for the ride. A receiver as talented and as unique as he is a once in a generation type player; Moss will still be able to help the team, even at 34, 35, 36 years old.
Moss wants to be here. This is the first team he has been on that has a competent coach and quarterback, who can consistently win and make him happy. Randy even took a pay cut to stay on the team. He could have left the Patriots of the Eagles for more money but he chose to stay in New England at end of 2007. He seems to be an incredibly insecure person. When he was up on the podium he reminded me of a boy trying to tell a girl he liked her, but in his nervousness and in the process of over thinking, he just blurted out nonsense and dug himself into a hole when he finally got a chance to speak . By the end of the confernce you could see the sweat beading up on his forehead. It sounds ludicrous but Randy just wants to be wanted.
As for the Patriots, they should pull out the stops and go after Lombardi number four. The fourth trophy would separate them from the Cowboys of the 90s, the Giants and Redskins of the 80s, and put them into all time status with the 49ers and Steelers. From a historic standpoint they are just on the cusp of G.O.A.T. and are outside looking in.
They have acquired 24 players in the last 2 drafts and are awash with young talent. I don't know how many more drafts you can have with it just being 3 second rounders, 3 third rounders and 5 6th rounders and hope some value is there. I hope they decide to go after the few solid top tier players that can have an immediate impact.
They have a set deadline, four years, and in that time the Patriots should go after their championships before teams like the Jets, Ravens, Colts overtake them. Give Randy his money. He is well liked on his team, even if he lacks a sensitivity to the situation he is in. A happy Moss will play many times better than a disgruntled one.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The Albert Haynesworth Complex
One might think there was an incentive for Mr. Albert Haynesworth to be able to pass his physical upon showing up at Redskins Training camp 3 weeks ago. Going into his second year of his 6 year, $100 million contract, one would think he would want to prove his worth after being so vastly overpaid. When new head coach Mike Shanahan took over the team last winter he wanted to switch the defense from a 4-3 alignment (4 down defensive linemen, 3 linebackers behind them) to a 3-4 (3 down defensive linemen and 4 linebackers), which Haynesworth believed would restrict his playmaking ability. He promptly called for a trade and skipped mandatory offseason workouts in protest.
When July rolled around and players were showing up for camps, Shanahan declared that Haynesworth had to pass a special conditioning test to prove he stayed in shape during the offseason since he refused to train with the team. The test involved 6 50 yard dashes that needed to be completed in 2 minutes, with a 3 minute break between another round of 6 50 yard dashes. Albert was unable to complete the test on his first try; or his second, third, or fourth. After taking a few days off because of an ankle injury, he finally completed the test, after missing a week of camp. 
A permanent rift has been created between player and team because of the ordeal, and the end result will probably not be clean. The missed practices and preseason games will start Haynesworth off at a disadvantage and may affect him for the entire season.
Can this man run 300 yards?
New England Patriots defensive lineman Ron Brace is currently in his second year of the NFL, and after a poor rookie season the young player came into camp needing to assert himself to keep his roster spot. Upon showing up he failed his conditioning test for over a week. For a young player with much to prove a failed conditioning test is devastating.
Can this man eat 300 hotdogs?
The odd thing is these players are massive and fat. How can they keep their massive sizes and weights while still retaining the ability to run several hundred yards? These athletes are some of the most unique specimens in
the world. They are capable of short, quick bursts of speed and strength that can only last a few short seconds. To see them completely gassed on the field, sweat dripping off their faces, fat bouncing as they run, is a strange sight. A fat man who can run 600 yards in only a few minutes is almost oxymoronic.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Shaquille O’Neal: NBA Legend, Entertainer, Newest Boston Celtic
A press conference was held Tuesday, making it official that Shaquille “Shaq, Shaq Fu, The Big Twitterer , Manny Shaq-iaou, The Big Deporter, Wilt Chamberneazy, The Big eQuotatious, The Big Maravich, M.D.E (Most Dominant Ever), The Big Baryshnikov, The Big Agave, The Big Galactus, The Real Deal, Witness Protection, Diesel, Shaq Daddy, The Big Felon, The Big Field General, Shaqovic, The Big IPO, Shaq-tus, L.C.L .(Last Center Left), Dr. Shaq, Osama Bin Shaq, The Big Banana, The Big Aristotle” O’Neal has signed with the Boston Celtics. This news could not have made me happier.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
A-Rod's 444 career home runs.
The writers at the most important sports blog ever written would like to congratulate Alex Rodriguez on 444 career home runs. This is a truly remarkable feet, leaving him 56 away from the famous 500 milestone and 156 from 600. He might some day reach the hallowed mark of 600, but with only 4 members existing in the club, Aaron, Mays, Ruth, and Griffey Jr, history is not on his side.
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| After 444 home runs A-Rod has a stiff neck. |
Brett Favre Retires For The… *Yawn*… Fourth Time
The hall of fame career of Brett Favre may have finally come to an end today as sources within the Vikings have reported his ankle was not healing the way he hoped and has to call it quits. Although the report has yet to be confirmed by coach Brad Childress or even Favre himself, we can take the chance to review his heralded career and compare him to other current and past greats.
Favre’s Stats (1991-2009 Seasons)
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| Favre throws picks in his Wranglers. |
Completion Percentage: 62.0
Yards: 69,329
Touchdowns: 497
Interceptions:317
Championships: 1
MVPs: 3
Teams Held Hostage Because of Retirements: 3
Favre’s statistics are impressive, if not great, holding all time records in yards, passing touchdowns, pass attempts, pass completions, interceptions and consecutive games started. He is a sure fire hall of famer who is in the discussion of greatest quarterback of all time. All this being said, I still believe he was overrated, and in the 2000s, I would have taken Tom Brady and Peyton Manning over him to play on my team.
Fracas in Fenway
Things got a little heated last night at Fenway Park between the Sox and the Tribe, most notably Beckett and Shelley Duncan for some reason. Nothing like a good bench clearer, but notice a fiery JD Drew finally showing up 40 seconds in, way after everyone else, including an injured Dustin Pedroia.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Bengals Sign Top Free Agent, Create SuperTeam
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| Watch the Ochocinco and T.O. Show, Sundays this Fall on CBS |
CINCINNATI, OH – The entire landscape of professional sports, as we knew it, changed dramatically on July 27, 2010 when WR Terrell Owens decided to take his talents to the banks of the Ohio River and sign with the Cincinnati Bengals. The highly touted and sought after free agent decided to join fellow VH1 Reality TV Celebrity/NFL wide receiver Chad Ochocinco and WR Antonio Bryant, making the Bengals some sort of super team, the likes of which have never been seen in any sport. Never before have superstar athletes banded together on one team to form a roster that would more likely appear in a video game than on a football field.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Man Unsure If Athlete Got New Contract Or Prison Sentence
After hearing the end of a sports newsflash on the radio, Tacoma resident and casual basketball fan Alan Wood had no idea whether NBA shooting guard Gilbert Arenas had signed a lucrative, multi-million dollar deal with one of the league's thirty franchises, or if he had instead been condemned to a lengthy stay in jail. Wood turned on the radio just in time to hear the broadcaster say "...sources report that Arenas will be looking at four or five years, although both sides say negotiations are not yet complete." Arenas, nicknamed Agent Zero, has averaged 22.7 points and 2.3 guns in his locker per game in his career. "Huh", said Wood.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Cristiano Ronaldo Ready to Put "Team American Idol: International" Failure Behind Him
MADRID- The Portuguese superstar is nearly ready to start getting over his heartbreak in South Africa.
After almost two weeks spent cooped up in his summer villa outside Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo finally emerged with puffy eyes and unkempt hair to talk to reporters at a Real Madrid press conference. "I don't know how to explain our failure," he told the media. "[The Portuguese National Team] sang beautifully. We lined up in a straight line, just like the judges wanted. Our hair was puh...puh...perfect," Ronaldo sobbed. The crooner/winger admitted that he did not put much effort into the friendly soccer matches the competing singers played after the game, claiming that he was already focused on the next sing-off of national anthems. He did vow to come back with a stronger voice than ever at the Team American Idol: Europe competition in two years time.
After almost two weeks spent cooped up in his summer villa outside Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo finally emerged with puffy eyes and unkempt hair to talk to reporters at a Real Madrid press conference. "I don't know how to explain our failure," he told the media. "[The Portuguese National Team] sang beautifully. We lined up in a straight line, just like the judges wanted. Our hair was puh...puh...perfect," Ronaldo sobbed. The crooner/winger admitted that he did not put much effort into the friendly soccer matches the competing singers played after the game, claiming that he was already focused on the next sing-off of national anthems. He did vow to come back with a stronger voice than ever at the Team American Idol: Europe competition in two years time.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Our Favorite World Cup Moments
For this post we all decided we would collaborate on a question and see what our answers were. The World Cup having just ended was the obvious topic to focus on. So our prompt was to think of our favorite World Cup moments. This is what we said:
Pablo:
Pablo:
Four agonizingly long years had passed since Fabio Grosso tucked his penalty kick away to hand Italy its fourth World Cup title in a shootout over France. South Africa 2010 was an eternity away.
The Way I See It
Friday, July 16, 2010
Kevin Durant: Not Your Average Superstar
It was the 2006-2007 season and my beloved Celtics were in the midst of one of their worst seasons ever. They ended the season with an abysmal record of 24-58, including a record breaking 18-game losing streak. The Celtics had a good shot of getting one of the top 2 picks in the 2007 NBA draft. So I spent most of that season watching college basketball looking to find out more about the top 2 prospects. One of these prospects was a frail old man, who was posing as a 7 foot college freshman at Ohio State, and the other was this skinny kid from Texas who could definitely play some basketball. As it turned out, the Celtics ended up with the 5th overall pick which they traded for an NBA Championship instead of drafting Yi Jianlian.
Death of King George Steinbrenner III Embroils Yankee Empire Into Civil War
Bronx, New York
Just hours after the Tuesday morning death of King George Steinbrenner III, the sovereign overlord of the Yankee Empire, with lands extending from the neighborhoods of the Bronx, to the barrios of Latin America, to the crowded streets of Tokyo, Japan, his two sons Prince Hank Steinbrenner, and Prince Hal Steinbrenner, both General Managing partners within the organization, began a war for sole possession of the throne.
Just hours after the Tuesday morning death of King George Steinbrenner III, the sovereign overlord of the Yankee Empire, with lands extending from the neighborhoods of the Bronx, to the barrios of Latin America, to the crowded streets of Tokyo, Japan, his two sons Prince Hank Steinbrenner, and Prince Hal Steinbrenner, both General Managing partners within the organization, began a war for sole possession of the throne.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
World Cup All-Hair Team
My behavior since July 11, 2010 has been somewhat controversial at Just Kickin' It! Headquarters (my parents' house).
"Mom, Dad!", I say. "What's the big deal!?"
"You have skipped work for four straight days and have been doing nought but drinking, singing, and dancing in the streets!", They say.
"But Spain won the World Cup!!! All the Spaniards are doing it!!!"
"Maybe they are, but you're not in Spain."
Do they really think that is gonna stop me?
¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!
The Just Kickin' It! 2010 All-Hair World Cup Team:
Goalkeeper- Guillermo Ochoa (Mexico)
Ochoa is also the recipient of the Just Kickin' It! Worst Commercials-Appeared-in-to-Minutes-of-Soccer-Played-in-the-World-Cup-Award (2,010:0).
Right Back- Bacary Sagna (France)
Sagna's choice of hairstyle was a prize for winning a bet with his father that, as a teenager playing for Auxerre's youth team, he would score against the senior side. You tell him, Bac.
Cent
er Back- Rigobert Song (Cameroon)
He played in the 1994 World Cup. He reminds me of Mufasa. Team Captain.
Center Back- Marcus Tulio Tanaka (Japan)
The São Paolo-born defender (with awesome hair) brought Brazilian flair and awesome hair to a surprising Japanese team.
Left Back- Fabio Coentrao (Portugal)
Actually pretty good at soccer considering how much effort he has put into starting a Portuguese glam metal band. Drummer Cristiano Ronaldo's plans to join have been way laid by an unexpected human baby he made.
Left Midfield- Hassan Yebda (Algeria)
Keep laughing at him. As 3D technology continues to advance, that ball will one day smack you in the face.
Center Midfield- Marek Hamsik (Slovakia)
The Exotic Bird, as he is called by the Slovak fans, poses for the team photo. He knows.
Center Midfield- Cesc Fabregas (Spain)
Dreamy as ever.
Right Midfield- Gervinho (Cote d'Ivoire)
Remember that ESPN commercial with U2 music from the 2006 World Cup where Drogba and the Cote d'Ivoire national team cause a ceasefire in the country's civil war? He's from there. And he has awesome hair.
Striker- Walter Martinez (Honduras)
Walter Martinez is the official 2010 FIFA World Cup player of your bag of Skittles.
Striker- Djibril Cisse (France)
The British Parliament loves when representatives of the nobility feature in the Just Kickin' It! World Cup All-Hair Team. The Lord of the Manor of Frodsham is player-coach. Do yourself a favor and google more pictures of this badass.
Thank you South Africa for an amazing month (I looked for you on the map every time they showed it, Lesotho). Countdown to Brazil 2014 starts very soon, but not quite yet!
A very special guest will be joining the blog soon, keep your eyes here you won't want to miss it!
Hambahni Kahle, amigos.
¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!
"Mom, Dad!", I say. "What's the big deal!?"
"You have skipped work for four straight days and have been doing nought but drinking, singing, and dancing in the streets!", They say.
"But Spain won the World Cup!!! All the Spaniards are doing it!!!"
"Maybe they are, but you're not in Spain."
Do they really think that is gonna stop me?
¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!
The Just Kickin' It! 2010 All-Hair World Cup Team:
Goalkeeper- Guillermo Ochoa (Mexico)
Right Back- Bacary Sagna (France)
Sagna's choice of hairstyle was a prize for winning a bet with his father that, as a teenager playing for Auxerre's youth team, he would score against the senior side. You tell him, Bac.
Cent
er Back- Rigobert Song (Cameroon)He played in the 1994 World Cup. He reminds me of Mufasa. Team Captain.
Center Back- Marcus Tulio Tanaka (Japan)
The São Paolo-born defender (with awesome hair) brought Brazilian flair and awesome hair to a surprising Japanese team.
Left Back- Fabio Coentrao (Portugal)
Actually pretty good at soccer considering how much effort he has put into starting a Portuguese glam metal band. Drummer Cristiano Ronaldo's plans to join have been way laid by an unexpected human baby he made.
Left Midfield- Hassan Yebda (Algeria)
Keep laughing at him. As 3D technology continues to advance, that ball will one day smack you in the face.
Center Midfield- Marek Hamsik (Slovakia)
The Exotic Bird, as he is called by the Slovak fans, poses for the team photo. He knows.
Center Midfield- Cesc Fabregas (Spain)
Dreamy as ever.
Right Midfield- Gervinho (Cote d'Ivoire)
Remember that ESPN commercial with U2 music from the 2006 World Cup where Drogba and the Cote d'Ivoire national team cause a ceasefire in the country's civil war? He's from there. And he has awesome hair.
Striker- Walter Martinez (Honduras)
Walter Martinez is the official 2010 FIFA World Cup player of your bag of Skittles.
Striker- Djibril Cisse (France)
The British Parliament loves when representatives of the nobility feature in the Just Kickin' It! World Cup All-Hair Team. The Lord of the Manor of Frodsham is player-coach. Do yourself a favor and google more pictures of this badass.
Thank you South Africa for an amazing month (I looked for you on the map every time they showed it, Lesotho). Countdown to Brazil 2014 starts very soon, but not quite yet!
A very special guest will be joining the blog soon, keep your eyes here you won't want to miss it!
Hambahni Kahle, amigos.
¡VAMOS MI ESPAÑA!
¡VAMOS CAMPEON!
¡LO LO LO LO
LO LO LO LO LO!
Fine, I wish Cesc still rocked this.
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Last Few Months
Finally a new collective bargaining agreement has been signed and our work stoppage has ended. It feels like 1994 all over again and I just hope us writers here at the blog don't need to take steroids to get our fans back. I can finally get back to doing what I do best: making observations about professional athletics that are entertaining only to me.
These last few months have seen a lot happen in our world: the Celtics went from old, to young, to old again in the span of 50 days; a popular soccer tournament began and is currently underway; something happened in hockey; baseball began and only has three good teams, all of whom are in the AL East; the Gulf of Mexico was paved over; we re-entered the Cold War with Russia; and some dude from some basketball team decided to play for some other basketball team. That is a lot to happen in a few months, and that is a lot to talk about. I am lazy so I will only mention a few while illuminating those topics with astute perspective and knowledge. As we all know, my point of view is always the right one.
Baseball: The season is at the All Star Break, and as expected, the good teams are where they should be and the bad teams are occupying their roles as doormats. The Yankees will be handed the AL East once again after their trade with the Mariners for the AL's best pitcher, Cliff Lee, is finalized. The Rays attempt to get their acts together after their stumble through June that saw a nice dugout scuffle between B.J. Upton and Evan Longoria while the Red Sox continue to be a strong argument for universal health care. One of these teams will roll through the playoffs and onto the Series, and unfortunately, it look like it will be the Bankees. We hold out hope for the Sox, but they should probably change their name from the Red Sox to the Red Cross.
Basketball: The Boston Celtics were one of the most enigmatic teams of the 2009-2010 season. They managed to change from a team of washed up, careless veterans to a squad of giant killers who came to within 6 minutes of having defeated Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Dwight Howard, and Kobe Bryant in a single playoffs. It would have been one of the storied franchise's biggest accomplishments but unfortunately injuries and age undid them at the worst time. Going into the Summer of Lebron, the Celtics look for one last shot at a title while the Lakers remain the favorite. As the free agency orgy comes to its messy climax, the Bulls look like the upcomers, and the Hawks look to grow and mature. Both teams have a long way to go but can make a run at the Eastern Conference title if they can get their heads on straight. You heard it hear first (or maybe read, not sure) the Heat will collapse and not make it past the second round. Commence drama in South Beach.
Lebron James: Lebron James does what is best for Lebron James to make Lebron James the Lebron Jamesiest Lebron James to ever Lebron James a Lebron James. He is very humble. Also, no one is allowed to play as the Heat in any NBA videogame now that a videogame version of them has been created in real life. Kind of ridiculous.
Football: The Jets are overrated. Mark Sanchez will have a sophomore slump, and Tomlinson is no upgrade over Thomas Jones. I hate the Jets, Colts, Dolphins, and Giants. Patriots in 2010-2011! Wooo!
Fútbol:BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
So that is the past few months in a nutshell. Nothing else happened that is important. I'd like to welcome myself back to the blogosphere, and to send a shout out to Pablo and Bonetti, two hard working contributors to the Most Important Blog Ever Read. Cheers.
Oh and America is still number one, despite their decision to not beat Ghana in the World Cup.
These last few months have seen a lot happen in our world: the Celtics went from old, to young, to old again in the span of 50 days; a popular soccer tournament began and is currently underway; something happened in hockey; baseball began and only has three good teams, all of whom are in the AL East; the Gulf of Mexico was paved over; we re-entered the Cold War with Russia; and some dude from some basketball team decided to play for some other basketball team. That is a lot to happen in a few months, and that is a lot to talk about. I am lazy so I will only mention a few while illuminating those topics with astute perspective and knowledge. As we all know, my point of view is always the right one.
Baseball: The season is at the All Star Break, and as expected, the good teams are where they should be and the bad teams are occupying their roles as doormats. The Yankees will be handed the AL East once again after their trade with the Mariners for the AL's best pitcher, Cliff Lee, is finalized. The Rays attempt to get their acts together after their stumble through June that saw a nice dugout scuffle between B.J. Upton and Evan Longoria while the Red Sox continue to be a strong argument for universal health care. One of these teams will roll through the playoffs and onto the Series, and unfortunately, it look like it will be the Bankees. We hold out hope for the Sox, but they should probably change their name from the Red Sox to the Red Cross.
Basketball: The Boston Celtics were one of the most enigmatic teams of the 2009-2010 season. They managed to change from a team of washed up, careless veterans to a squad of giant killers who came to within 6 minutes of having defeated Dwyane Wade, Lebron James, Dwight Howard, and Kobe Bryant in a single playoffs. It would have been one of the storied franchise's biggest accomplishments but unfortunately injuries and age undid them at the worst time. Going into the Summer of Lebron, the Celtics look for one last shot at a title while the Lakers remain the favorite. As the free agency orgy comes to its messy climax, the Bulls look like the upcomers, and the Hawks look to grow and mature. Both teams have a long way to go but can make a run at the Eastern Conference title if they can get their heads on straight. You heard it hear first (or maybe read, not sure) the Heat will collapse and not make it past the second round. Commence drama in South Beach.
Lebron James: Lebron James does what is best for Lebron James to make Lebron James the Lebron Jamesiest Lebron James to ever Lebron James a Lebron James. He is very humble. Also, no one is allowed to play as the Heat in any NBA videogame now that a videogame version of them has been created in real life. Kind of ridiculous.
Football: The Jets are overrated. Mark Sanchez will have a sophomore slump, and Tomlinson is no upgrade over Thomas Jones. I hate the Jets, Colts, Dolphins, and Giants. Patriots in 2010-2011! Wooo!
Fútbol:BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
A South African Bee Hive.
So that is the past few months in a nutshell. Nothing else happened that is important. I'd like to welcome myself back to the blogosphere, and to send a shout out to Pablo and Bonetti, two hard working contributors to the Most Important Blog Ever Read. Cheers.
Oh and America is still number one, despite their decision to not beat Ghana in the World Cup.
These Colors don't run, they just sometimes lose in extra time to a third world nation.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Poorly Photoshopped NBA Free Agency Frenzy
So here we are at the culmination of the craziest free agency period in the history of the NBA. Now that Lebron had a useless hour long show, all of the big free agents have officially picked their teams for the 2010-2011 season. So now comes the best part. What is the best part you may ask? Of course the best part is players being photoshopped into their new team's jerseys! So without further ado I present you with the big free agents heads on different people's bodies. I hope you enjoy my photoshop skills.
1. Lebron in Miami:
2. He'll be playing with Chris Bosh who is now in Miami:
3. and D-Wade will still be in Miami: (yes I photoshopped this one too)
4. Now Amare is lonely on the Knicks:
5. Carlos Boozer is cool with being on the Bulls now:
6. Here is what Lebron would have looked like had he gone to NY, NJ or CHI:
7.
7. and the Nets signed Travis Outlaw, the Timberwolves signed Darko Milicic:
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Red Sox Mid-Season Report
As of today July 6, 2010 the Red Sox are 49-35, only 2.5 games out of first in the AL East, facing the 2nd place Tampa Bay Rays and they are starting 5 players that started the year in the minor leagues or on the bench including starting pitcher Felix Doubront, a 22-yr old lefty with a total of 1 major league start under his belt.
This team has been absolutely plagued by injuries, the likes of which I have never seen. It’s as if a tornado of broken bones and sore muscles came barreling through the clubhouse and left us with a team that would more likely be seen in Pawtucket than it would in Boston. It really is unprecedented how debilitated this team is, and how all the injuries seem to be freak accidents. Losing multiple players to vicious foul tips is never a good sign. And then you have Adrian Beltre, the man whose apparent mission is to destroy Red Sox Left Fielders. Considered yourself warned Daniel Nava, you never know when he will strike, the only advice I can give is let him catch the fly ball.
Yet here we are, despite all of these setbacks, the Sox are still producing and still playing some quality baseball. Boston had 6 or 7(depending on the final vote) players selected to the All-Star team although only 3 of them will be able to play in the game, that is assuming those players do not get hurt (currently knocking on wood). Outside of the injuries the biggest surprise of this season so far has been that this team actually has an offense. Not only does the offense just exist, it’s actually really good. They are leading the league in Runs, RBI, SLG, doubles, and total bases, and in the top 3 in Hits, AVG, OBP, walks, and HR. There are no two-ways about it; this defensive run-prevention team can flat out hit the baseball. Their ability to hit and their starting pitchers are what have kept this team afloat and still in the AL East race.
Of course there are the usual suspects, like great years from Pedroia, Youk and Vic Mart and pitching of Lester, Lackey and somewhat of a surprise All Star season from Buchholz. But their good fortune couldn’t be possible without the impressive performances from the most unlikely of characters including a first pitch of major league grand slam from Nava, and that week long stretch where Darnell Mcdonald couldn’t help but win games for the Sox.
Given all of the injuries and obstacles this team has to endure, they are not doing too shabby. If the Sox ever get 100% healthy, 2010 could be a real good year for the local 9.
Update: Since writing this article Youk left the game with ‘right ankle pain,’ Beltre fouled a ball off his leg, the bullpen is struggling and the Sox are now 3.5 games down in the East. Oh well, get ‘em next year.
Update: Since writing this article Youk left the game with ‘right ankle pain,’ Beltre fouled a ball off his leg, the bullpen is struggling and the Sox are now 3.5 games down in the East. Oh well, get ‘em next year.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Group Stage Review, SPOILER ALERT!!! Knockout Stage Preview
Welcome back, loyal readers, I hope you are all enjoying the World Cup as much as I am. The group stage is now behind us, and the real fun begins! The main thing that jumps out at me so far from the group stage is the success that non-European teams have enjoyed. All five South American teams, two of three CONCACAF teams, two of five Asia/Oceania teams, and one African team have advanced to make up ten of the sixteen remaining teams. This provides a stark contrast to the last sixteen of tournaments past. Consider that since the Cup was expanded to a thirty-two-team format in 1998, Europe has provided twenty-nine of forty-eight teams in the knockout stages: ten in 1998, nine in 2002, and ten in 2006. The continent's dominance of the latter stages has been undeniable over that time period, leading many to conclude that the overwhelming preeminence of the European club game and the money that it has generated has widened the gap between the rich (European) and poor (everyone else) nations. It has also been argued that due to the vast financial power of the Champions'League, EPL, La Liga, and Serie A, the World Cup and international soccer has become lessened in importance, becoming a burden for managers and players who make their money in club competition.
The fact that the 2010 edition has been such a global tournament thus far is extremely refreshing for me, and I think the rest of the world would tend to agree. Nowhere else can one find the excitement of Japan vs. Cameroon in a truly competitive setting, a clash of Asian and African flavors. That is why the tournament is so magnificent. It brings together lovers of joga bonita from all corners of the Earth, and the opportunity to witness their different approaches, tactics, skill levels, mentalities, and cultures all while sharing the same core values of soccer will always be breathtaking for me. It is pride, glory, and competition at their finest. The World Cup always has been and always will be the pinnacle of soccer achievement, the grandest stage in the sport. The hunger, commitment, and skill put on display by the rest of the world has shown that this is the most important competition to them as well, and if UEFA wants to focus on its club soccer, everyone else will be happy to send them home early. The South American nations have been particularly impressive and the continent can rightly be applauded for 100% of its participants surviving the group stage.
The United States had a somewhat topsy-turvy experience in Group C, but in the end emerged as deserved winners. The first match was a nervy 1-1 draw with England. Greensides all around, boys. The second match was an incredible, gutsy comeback from two down at halftime against Slovenia to tie, which should have been a victory which would have gone down in World Cup lore as a classic but for some truly bogus refereeing. Knowing that they needed a win in their final match, against Algeria, the U.S. dominated and should have scored numerous times but were thwarted by the post, more bogus refereeing, the goalkeeper, and poor finishing. Meanwhile, England scored in the first half of their match against Slovenia. Had the results remained that way, 0-0 in our game and 1-0 England in the other, we would have been cruelly eliminated. We never gave up though, and in the ninety-first minute, the ninety-first, Donovan got a boot on Dempsey's rebound after a quick counter attack and put a bulge in the old onion bag. What a bulge it was! Pandemonium ensued in my brain and many a brain across this nation, and when the final whistle blew the U.S. emerged as group winners by virtue of goal difference over England. The poor decisions by officials, the bad luck, none of it mattered in the end and we got what we deserved over the course of three games- group winners and a berth in the Round of 16.
Before we go on, a few more points about the group stage.
-France, no matter what happens in the rest of the tournament, you are the undeniable loser. Disgraceful. Talk about giving yourselves Les Blues.
-Italy, you deserve to not go through, that's what you get for your negativity against teams that you should be beating handily.
-Ball boys, stop throwing extra balls on the field.
-TV, stop showing slow-motion, ultra close-up images of spit flying out of the goalie's mouth while the other team is breaking down the wing and having a shot at goal.
-Everybody except Japan, practice free kicks.
Now, onto my predictions for the knockout stage.
NOTE: THESE PREDICTIONS ARE NOT REALLY PREDICTIONS THEY ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING TRUTH LIKE PAUL PIERCE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF THE TOURNAMENT STOP READING IMMEDIATELY
I have discovered a Book that contains the Secrets of the 2010 Fifa World Cup results. It has been Written. The Book's Writers are unknown. They were extremely clever, however, and buried their Message in an almost indecipherable Code. I have managed to crack it after much meticulous research. What the Authors did was to first write the Message, which I have discovered to be this:
"Scott K will run through the streets naked after the United States soccer squad defeats Ghana, Uruguay, Brazil, and Spain to claim the trophy. Also, the aforementioned will wash by hand every United States citizen's pink elephant as a celebratory ritual. Pusillanimous".
Cryptic, isn't it? As if that strangely worded Message was not enough, the Writers then chopped up its words and jumbled them in a random, chaotic order. Lastly, they filled in the gaps between these words and even the punctuation with pages upon pages of nonsensical jargon. Let me tell you, figuring it all out was a sonofabitch, but so worth it. As a way of thanks for their continued support, I want to give the blog's dedicated followers the opportunity to get their hands on a genuine copy of the Code for themselves. Blog To Be Named Later is proud to announce exclusively that it can be found here:
http://www.amazon.com/Merriam-Websters-Collegiate-Dictionary-Laminated-Cover/dp/0877798079/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277526449&sr=1-1
Hambani Kahle, amigos.
The fact that the 2010 edition has been such a global tournament thus far is extremely refreshing for me, and I think the rest of the world would tend to agree. Nowhere else can one find the excitement of Japan vs. Cameroon in a truly competitive setting, a clash of Asian and African flavors. That is why the tournament is so magnificent. It brings together lovers of joga bonita from all corners of the Earth, and the opportunity to witness their different approaches, tactics, skill levels, mentalities, and cultures all while sharing the same core values of soccer will always be breathtaking for me. It is pride, glory, and competition at their finest. The World Cup always has been and always will be the pinnacle of soccer achievement, the grandest stage in the sport. The hunger, commitment, and skill put on display by the rest of the world has shown that this is the most important competition to them as well, and if UEFA wants to focus on its club soccer, everyone else will be happy to send them home early. The South American nations have been particularly impressive and the continent can rightly be applauded for 100% of its participants surviving the group stage.
The United States had a somewhat topsy-turvy experience in Group C, but in the end emerged as deserved winners. The first match was a nervy 1-1 draw with England. Greensides all around, boys. The second match was an incredible, gutsy comeback from two down at halftime against Slovenia to tie, which should have been a victory which would have gone down in World Cup lore as a classic but for some truly bogus refereeing. Knowing that they needed a win in their final match, against Algeria, the U.S. dominated and should have scored numerous times but were thwarted by the post, more bogus refereeing, the goalkeeper, and poor finishing. Meanwhile, England scored in the first half of their match against Slovenia. Had the results remained that way, 0-0 in our game and 1-0 England in the other, we would have been cruelly eliminated. We never gave up though, and in the ninety-first minute, the ninety-first, Donovan got a boot on Dempsey's rebound after a quick counter attack and put a bulge in the old onion bag. What a bulge it was! Pandemonium ensued in my brain and many a brain across this nation, and when the final whistle blew the U.S. emerged as group winners by virtue of goal difference over England. The poor decisions by officials, the bad luck, none of it mattered in the end and we got what we deserved over the course of three games- group winners and a berth in the Round of 16.
Before we go on, a few more points about the group stage.
-France, no matter what happens in the rest of the tournament, you are the undeniable loser. Disgraceful. Talk about giving yourselves Les Blues.
-Italy, you deserve to not go through, that's what you get for your negativity against teams that you should be beating handily.
-Ball boys, stop throwing extra balls on the field.
-TV, stop showing slow-motion, ultra close-up images of spit flying out of the goalie's mouth while the other team is breaking down the wing and having a shot at goal.
-Everybody except Japan, practice free kicks.
Now, onto my predictions for the knockout stage.
NOTE: THESE PREDICTIONS ARE NOT REALLY PREDICTIONS THEY ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING TRUTH LIKE PAUL PIERCE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF THE TOURNAMENT STOP READING IMMEDIATELY
I have discovered a Book that contains the Secrets of the 2010 Fifa World Cup results. It has been Written. The Book's Writers are unknown. They were extremely clever, however, and buried their Message in an almost indecipherable Code. I have managed to crack it after much meticulous research. What the Authors did was to first write the Message, which I have discovered to be this:
"Scott K will run through the streets naked after the United States soccer squad defeats Ghana, Uruguay, Brazil, and Spain to claim the trophy. Also, the aforementioned will wash by hand every United States citizen's pink elephant as a celebratory ritual. Pusillanimous".
Cryptic, isn't it? As if that strangely worded Message was not enough, the Writers then chopped up its words and jumbled them in a random, chaotic order. Lastly, they filled in the gaps between these words and even the punctuation with pages upon pages of nonsensical jargon. Let me tell you, figuring it all out was a sonofabitch, but so worth it. As a way of thanks for their continued support, I want to give the blog's dedicated followers the opportunity to get their hands on a genuine copy of the Code for themselves. Blog To Be Named Later is proud to announce exclusively that it can be found here:
http://www.amazon.com/Merriam-Websters-Collegiate-Dictionary-Laminated-Cover/dp/0877798079/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277526449&sr=1-1
Hambani Kahle, amigos.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
A Thought for Lesotho
Yes, yes, I know we are all very excited for the World Cup to start in six days. However, being the leading journalist that I am, I felt it was my responsibility to take a different view of the buildup to the tournament, and I want to take a brief moment to talk about poor Lesotho.
Lesotho, since you probably don't know, is a small country located not only in Southern Africa but inside South Africa. The entire country is surrounded by the hosts of this year's World Cup. I can think of few crueler fates than to be literally surrounded by Cup festivities and the world's attention, yet still shut out from participation. Rearrange Lesotho and what do you get? The Solo.
Credit to South Africa for getting ready for the World Cup on time and in style, but they missed an opportunity here to become the coolest country ever by inviting Lesotho to be joint hosts. South Africa/Lesotho 2010 FIFA World Cup. Has a nice ring to it. So while you grab your vuvuzela and cheer on the Bafana Bafana on Friday, spare a thought for this soccer-loving Lesothan baby.
And his cat.
World Cup All-Hair Team is next. Hambani Kahle, amigos.
Lesotho, since you probably don't know, is a small country located not only in Southern Africa but inside South Africa. The entire country is surrounded by the hosts of this year's World Cup. I can think of few crueler fates than to be literally surrounded by Cup festivities and the world's attention, yet still shut out from participation. Rearrange Lesotho and what do you get? The Solo.
Credit to South Africa for getting ready for the World Cup on time and in style, but they missed an opportunity here to become the coolest country ever by inviting Lesotho to be joint hosts. South Africa/Lesotho 2010 FIFA World Cup. Has a nice ring to it. So while you grab your vuvuzela and cheer on the Bafana Bafana on Friday, spare a thought for this soccer-loving Lesothan baby.
And his cat.
World Cup All-Hair Team is next. Hambani Kahle, amigos.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Henry to New York?, Gooch Forfeits Salary
I appreciate you bearing with me while I delved into some niche sports in that last post. Back to mainstream American sports for this one, and big news (possibly) coming out of MLS with reports that Thierry Henry has agreed a deal with New York Red Bulls. Shouts to fellow blogsters Bones and "Thunder" Dan for calling my attention to this one. The NY club has not released any offical statement regarding the deal, but it is being widely circulated on many media outlets. The World Cup-winning, European Championship-winning, two-time EPL-winning, 2-time La Liga-winning, and Champions' League-winning (to name just a few) Frenchman has long spoken of his love for the United States, particularly New York City, and his desire to play in the MLS when his days in Europe had finished. Henry has regularly visited the States in the past and one of his best friends is everyone's fourth favorite French NBA player behind Boris Diaw, Mickael Pietrus, and Rodrigue Beaubois. The answer is Tony Parker. The two are known to hang together quite a bit and Titi enjoys attending his games while on vacation. This is a story to keep our eyes on, and I just put the number for Red Bulls season tickets into my phone for quick reference.
Over in Italia, Oguchi Onyewu has agreed a unique deal with AC Milan (the very same AC Milan that has never lost a game when Scotty K was in the stands). The towering U.S. center back, who missed all but one game of this past season with a knee injury, asked Milan to extend his contract by one year, to the end of the 2012-13 season, and told them that he wants to play that last year for no salary. "Onyewu, who has been out for virtually the whole season due to injury, but who at this time is getting ready to face the World Cup adventure in South Africa with his national team, has become a star today with a significant gesture from a personal and professional standpoint. Onyewu has requested and obtained a contract extension from June 30, 2012 until June 30, 2013. With respect to that year, as was his wish, which has been appreciated by the club, Onyewu has asked not to receive any type of wages. This is an exemplary gesture that deserves our sincere congratulations," said the club.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Hambani Kahle, amigos.
Over in Italia, Oguchi Onyewu has agreed a unique deal with AC Milan (the very same AC Milan that has never lost a game when Scotty K was in the stands). The towering U.S. center back, who missed all but one game of this past season with a knee injury, asked Milan to extend his contract by one year, to the end of the 2012-13 season, and told them that he wants to play that last year for no salary. "Onyewu, who has been out for virtually the whole season due to injury, but who at this time is getting ready to face the World Cup adventure in South Africa with his national team, has become a star today with a significant gesture from a personal and professional standpoint. Onyewu has requested and obtained a contract extension from June 30, 2012 until June 30, 2013. With respect to that year, as was his wish, which has been appreciated by the club, Onyewu has asked not to receive any type of wages. This is an exemplary gesture that deserves our sincere congratulations," said the club.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Hambani Kahle, amigos.
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