The Albert Haynesworth Complex

As inevitable as the bright green leaves of summer turning to red, orange, yellow and brown each year, is the annual fat-defensive-lineman-showing-up-out-of-shape saga at NFL training camps. Each season head coaches require their players to run conditioning tests which usually involved wind sprints on the field of a certain distance under a certain time threshold, depending on position. Coaches around the league justify this as a minimum physical requirement to be able to withstand the rigors of the hot summer practices, and the games to follow. Players who cannot pass the test do not get to practice with their teammates. Players who do not practice with their teammates do not get to play; which means no game checks.

One might think there was an incentive for Mr. Albert Haynesworth to be able to pass his physical upon showing up at Redskins Training camp 3 weeks ago. Going into his second year of his 6 year, $100 million contract, one would think he would want to prove his worth after being so vastly overpaid. When new head coach Mike Shanahan took over the team last winter he wanted to switch the defense from a 4-3 alignment (4 down defensive linemen, 3 linebackers behind them) to a 3-4 (3 down defensive linemen and 4 linebackers), which Haynesworth believed would restrict his playmaking ability. He promptly called for a trade and skipped mandatory offseason workouts in protest.

When July rolled around and players were showing up for camps, Shanahan declared that Haynesworth had to pass a special conditioning test to prove he stayed in shape during the offseason since he refused to train with the team. The test involved 6 50 yard dashes that needed to be completed in 2 minutes, with a 3 minute break between another round of 6 50 yard dashes. Albert was unable to complete the test on his first try; or his second, third, or fourth. After taking a few days off because of an ankle injury, he finally completed the test, after missing a week of camp.

A permanent rift has been created between player and team because of the ordeal, and the end result will probably not be clean. The missed practices and preseason games will start Haynesworth off at a disadvantage and may affect him for the entire season.

Can this man run 300 yards?

New England Patriots defensive lineman Ron Brace is currently in his second year of the NFL, and after a poor rookie season the young player came into camp needing to assert himself to keep his roster spot. Upon showing up he failed his conditioning test for over a week. For a young player with much to prove a failed conditioning test is devastating.

Can this man eat 300 hotdogs?

The odd thing is these players are massive and fat. How can they keep their massive sizes and weights while still retaining the ability to run several hundred yards? These athletes are some of the most unique specimens in

the world. They are capable of short, quick bursts of speed and strength that can only last a few short seconds. To see them completely gassed on the field, sweat dripping off their faces, fat bouncing as they run, is a strange sight. A fat man who can run 600 yards in only a few minutes is almost oxymoronic.