Friday, July 16, 2010

Death of King George Steinbrenner III Embroils Yankee Empire Into Civil War

Bronx, New York

Just hours after the Tuesday morning death of King George Steinbrenner III, the sovereign overlord of the Yankee Empire, with lands extending from the neighborhoods of the Bronx, to the barrios of Latin America, to the crowded streets of Tokyo, Japan, his two sons Prince Hank Steinbrenner, and Prince Hal Steinbrenner, both General Managing partners within the organization, began a war for sole possession of the throne.


In what has already been dubbed The War of the Pin Stripes, the armies of Hal Steinbrenner seized control of the late King's summer palace in Tampa, Florida, the final resting place of the deceased King.

"I am the rightful heir to the throne and to the riches of the Yankee Empire," declared the younger Hal atop of his mighty steed while preparing his army in Flushing Meadows. "My spiteful older brother has no capacity to lead an organization and an empire like this."

Forbes Magazine recently listed the value of the New York Yankees as being worth more than a billion dollars in 2010. George Steinbrenner seized control of the Yankees for a mere 8.8 million dollars in 1973.

Hank Steinbrenner, the older and rightful heir to the throne through simple succession, is opposing his younger brother. Hank has declared his younger brother to be nothing more than a "rebel" and a "vagabond" with no true claim to the high throne.

His top soldier claimed early victory in the Battle of Anaheim where his army, led by Captain Derek Jeter seized some of Hal's troops, led notably by Alex Rodriguez, whom Jeter had beheaded on the spot for treason. Hank Steinbrenner declared any other rebel, naming people like "that scum (Jorge) Posada" and "treasonous (Mariano) Rivera" to be drawn and quartered once captured.

The civil war is a bloody end to the relatively peaceful 37 year reign of the previous overlord. The war is leaving Yankee Empire vulnerable to rivals entities including Red Sox Nation, who look for any perceived weakness to strike.

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